They've been accumulating in the laundry basket slowly over the holiday period, like fallen comrades picked off one by one. All a taunting reminder of the previous nights sieges and swells. Bombarded with foundation and tan, assaulted by glitter and bronzer and possibly a dribble or two of vodka. Yes, our braziers are mocking us and they leave us with no choice, they must be washed.
So treat them like you would treat yourself and give your bras a bathNEVER, EVER machine wash your bras. It's suicide, I lost one myself last month ♦ Always separate whites and colours then separate colours again. Blues/Greens, Reds/Oranges etc. ♦ Try not to use fabric softener, it reduces elasticity over time ♦ Always wash with closures fastened
How to hand wash your bra like a ninja (we really like acting as ninja's whenever possible)
All you need is mild hand wash detergent, few drops of essential oil (lavender or geranium works well) and a sink. You could also use a basin at the same time and get a real production line going; Use the force!
- Fill a clean sink with warm, not hot, water.
- Add a capful of detergent for 5 litres of water.
- Throw your bras, colour coded, into the water. Swish a little and leave to soak for 10 minutes.
- Now gently start kneading your bra. Rub the under-wires and straps really well. Also the "in between the puppies bit", this tends to be the dirtiest place. Oh yeah!
- Remove bras, empty the sink, rinse the basin and refill.
- Place bras back into the warm water and swish gently, empty sink again and rinse bras in a gentle stream of water.
- Refill sink again with warm water, phew! Add 2 drops of essential oil and place bras in the water.
- Swish gently while singing a song.
- Empty sink.
- Gently press any excess water from the fabric. Do not wring!
- Lay the item flat on a dry towel, then roll the two together, squeezing the towel gently.
- Some have suggested using a lettuce spinner in this part of the process. I'm curious.
- Moulded cups should be moved back into place and allowed to dry flat.
- Regular bras can be hung to dry but again flat is best.
- Spread bras out on dry towel and allow to air dry.
- Never tumble dry bras.
I know this seems like a lot of work, it is a lot of work, but it's worth it. Your "over the shoulder boulder holders" will really appreciate a bit of well deserved R&R, which means your boulders will benefit too. Otherwise, it's just another trip to the lingerie department with the smiling assistant enquiring whether I thought "I really needed a bra". "I'll take it in a B cup", I reply, as sweetly as I can manage.
Image of Katy Perry via clh8888