Taking up Zumba, parkour and ancient Sanskrit for the New Year? Good for bloody you, weirdo. Most of us are already worn out from attempting to stick with our ‘eat more bacon’ and ‘stop self-destructing’ resolutions so taking on anything more laborious than putting on clean socks is out of the question. The thing is, we’ve got another two weeks where the most unoriginal of small-talkers deem it permissible to ask what big resolutions we’ve made this year and, let’s face it, answering them with a breakdown of how you plan to hydrate with water instead of vodka doesn’t quite cut it. So here are four boast-worthy hobbies we can do from the couch. Good for bloody us.
SWEARY EMBROIDERYWTF? What was once a hallowed tradition among floral-cushion loving grandmothers and fancy hotel-towel buyers has been perverted into a rude game of curse-chicken where renegade embroiderers push the limits of taste and swear-words. In other words; embroidery just got awesome.
How? Cross stitch is pretty much sewing pixels on to fabric to make pretty shapes and ugly words, which makes it the easier version of embroidery (which uses mind-numbingly numerous stitches to make sew-y pictures). You can download templates (Subversive Cross Stitch, pics below, are the sweariest we could find) and pick up cross stitching fabric anywhere that sells crafty stuff. Or you can just say ‘Suck it‘ and buy one.
Calorific expenditure? About as much as you’ve burned reading this post. Huzzah. Just in case, bacon up your next meal.
BOKEH PHOTOGRAPHYWTF? Bokeh photography – which is basically a blurring technique that will make your pics look about 11 times better than they have ever looked – has become one of the trendiest members of the already trendiness-packed photography insta-family.
DIY Bokeh tutorial; DIY Photography. Bokeh apps for iPhone; Geek Sugar.
How? Quickly DIY yourself a bokeh lens and start taking some seriously amazing pictures of stuff near your couch. Of course, you could just download a bokeh app, by all accounts, LensLight is the best.
Calorific expenditure? This could potentially be quite the waist-trimmer if you decide to, say, leave the room or even the house. Stay on the health kick and make a smoothie like a ninja.
Image via; Krause Gallery.
WTF? Pretty self-explanatory really; your crappy cup of Barry’s is about to be upgraded…to the max. Okay, we don’t know what it means but since boutique (hipster) tea houses popped up with more vengeance than my chin acne last year, we’re guessing drinking tea has become cool.
How? ‘I joined a club’ is a pretty satisfactory response to any resolution-related badgering you may face…and if there’s one thing we here at Style It aim for, it’s ‘pretty satisfactory’. With that in mind, join a tea-tasting club (you can do it all online and through the post, so you won’t have to actually talk to people) and convince yourself you’re doing something mind-expanding when you’re sipping down your cuppa. Score.
Calorific expenditure? You’re probably breaking even if you have to walk to the fridge. Dip some stuff in chocolate to keep your energy up.
Paper craft taxidermy deer head tutorial; Know and Tell Crafts.
WTF? Perhaps the cheapest hobby out there, making stuff out of paper that nobody really needs but kind of wants has become an art-form unto itself lately. A Pinterest fave, paper craft requires nothing more than paper, a scissors and a hand.
Printable paper robots; €4.50, Tara Handmade. Paper craft diamonds tutorial; The Red Thread Blog.
How? Use the aforementioned hand to cut shapes out of paper. Better still, use templates so you can blame someone else if it doesn’t work out.
Calorific expenditure? Relative to the rest of this list, pretty high. And you can double that if you stick your tongue out when you cut. Try a vodka cocktail to numb out the paper cut pain.
You might also like; DIY Pallets; Unleash the creative beast.