Yep, I'll have a few of these, please. I'm the type of person who likes their Cypress Hill with a nice pot of tea and maybe some macarons, so these rap lyrics - prettified into tasteful posters - are just my cup of tizzle (did I use it right? Wrong decade?). Canadian (obvs) Etsyers Paperchat make fine use of the typography trend with these ghetto lovelies. Check out their store for more music and movie-inspired art prints.
Fighting over the quilt, slamming your head on the bedside locker after being sleep-shoved out of bed, landing in dirty socks; ah, the gentle bliss of living with your loved one. All's fair in love and war until somebody loses their slice of the blanket...then all bets are off. Here are ten bed sets that will help your bedtime feel like less of a battleground...unless you're into that kind of thing.
1. Yes, No, Maybe pillowcases(€52, Minna's Room). Make your message loud and clear and get exactly what you want with these hanky panky pillowcases...or just throw them in the air and let destiny decide.
2. Seven Deadly Sins pillowcases (€32, Dustys and Lulu). Option 1 a little too discrete? Then get to the point with Dustys and Lulu's sinful pillowcases. Other options include Shouty, Fatty, Angry and Slutty so your every mood is covered.
3. Make Love Not War duvet set (Miss Geschick and Lady Lapsus). Sharing is caring so put an end to the your-side-my-side debate with this 50/50 duvet cover. The gun, alas, is not included but highly recommended.
4. Buon Appetito duvet cover (Miss Geschick and Lady Lapsus). Nobody should be kicked out of bed for eating biscuits. Nobody. Luckily the clever folks at Miss Geschick and Lady Lapsus have created this duvet cover/napkin that allows you eat a full Sunday roast between the sheets if you want to, without ruining the bed. About bloody time.
5. Doodle duvet cover (from €55, Doodle and Stitch). Now this is my kind of duvet cover. The notepad print is awesome in it's own right but throw in the possibility of writing lovey, lusty or don't-forget-the-milky notes and you have the perfect bed linen for busy couples. Simply pop it into the wash and you have clean slate to write on all over again. Something like 'seriously, remember to bring home some goddamn milk', perhaps?
6. Love Birds pillow cases (€25, Xeno Tees). Let the shenanigans commence with these Love Birds pillowcases. They say the secret to a happy relationship is never going to bed angry and I'm guessing that a few minutes spent chirping at each other in bed would ease the tension. If that doesn't work, invent your own version of Angry Birds.
7. Happiness In Bed duvet cover (€264, Happiness In Bed). With built-in sleeves to keep your arms warm while you read, this ingenious duvet set has got loved-up bookworms covered. Well, anything that staves off the need for the powerfully contraceptive Slanket is good in my book.
8. My Side Your Side pillowcase (€37, Cushions Covered). Forget compromising, mark your territory early with these pillowcases and put your partner in their place. And yes, you can buy two My Sides if you want...that should help clear up any misunderstandings.
9. Twister Duvet Set (€100, Ebay). Having originally started out as a Mexican ad for Viagra, the Twister duvet set has turned into one of the most sought after bedroom accessories since, well, Viagra. It may take a little hunting (Ebay is your best bet) but a few rounds of naked Twister is probably equal to a decade of couples counselling.
10. Blandito Transformable Pad (from €415, Blandito). Admittedly this isn't bed linen, but how often have you looked at your lunchtime burrito and wished you could just climb on in? Well, now you can. Kind of. These transformable pads wrap you and your amigo up like little donkeys for some seriously spicy snuggling. Is this what they mean by Food Porn?
If the words 'You had me at meat tornado' mean anything to then you are either living near a Big Head Joe's (luckyyyyy) or you're well versed in all things Ron Swanson. The clever Canadians at Paper Chat are certainly the latter if their rather beautiful Parks and Recreation typography prints are anything to go by. Paying stylish tribute to some of the most brilliant P&R quotes, Paper Chat are worthy of a Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt handshake. Take that Eagleton.
Check out Paper Chat's store for more P&R, 30 Rock, The Office and Seinfeld inspired posters (€18.50). Now if you'll excuse me, there's a hot, spinning cone of meat in that Greek restaurant next door.
Hurray, the Leaving Cert is over. Boo, it's time for college. As students the world over brace themselves for for the sweet purgatory that is college, I thought it apt to feature The Carbon Crusader's profanity-riddled pencils. The first day in a new school is the perfect setting for trying out a badass new attitude and these lewd leads will make you look tough as nails even if you spend each night sobbing into your blanky. Sure, pencils are a bit nerdy, and I'm not definite that the iPhone generation even know how to use them, but these sketchers are bound to earn you some kind of scary-cool nickname. Like Snake, yes I rather like Snake. Well, if someone's going to borrow your stuff and never give it back they might as well be reminded just what a bad mo-fo you are. The pencils come in sets of three (€3.10) and six (€6.10) from the Carbon Crusader's store.
I suspect that the reason there are so many quotey inspirational posters these days is that they work way too well. Imagine working down a motivational print mine? You'd never go home. That is, unless that mine belonged to Cliché Zero. Merging cheery optimism with a healthy dose of sarcasm, Cliché Zero's typographic prints play up to the traditional self-lovery that most The Secret-inspired quotes extol, but deliver their message with a good sharp kick to the funny bone. Fill your boots people, this is some good advice. Available at Cliché Zero, €12 each.
We're often told that punching pillows is a great way of releasing pent up rage, but it would be nice if it was a slightly fairer fight. Worry not, I've tracked down 10 offensive throw cushions that could probably hold their own were you to dole out a savage beat down. What? I was just plumping them. Plumping them to hell.
1. Merde cushion (€77, Alexandra Ferguson). You may think that this is the only word you'd need to know to confidently explore France, but actually it's not. As soon as the waiters realize that you know it, they'll just call you something else.
2. Anger Cushion (€16, Society 6). I quite like the idea of having a selection of cushions that express various emotions. I mean, who wants to actually have to say stuff?
3. Cannonball cushion (€50, Utilitarian Franchise). When you absolutely, positively gotta chill with the some images of ancient weaponry.
4. You Suck Heart Cushion (€20, Sweat and Offbeat). Oh I suck? Well you're my new favourite fart stifler, how do you like that? Goddam soft furnishings giving me abuse.
5. I Hate People Cushion (€55, Zazzle). You hate people, huh? Actually, I think we have a bit common ground here. You're my new hug pillow, that's what you are.
6. Pew Pew Cushion (€32, Choice Cuts). I'm more of a martial arts Whaaatchaaaw kind of gal but I'll Pew Pew back. Yeah, I'll Pew Pew back like you've never been Pew Pewed back before. You bastard.
7. Go To The Gym Cushion (€77, Alexandra Ferguson). Hey, I'm not the one sitting on the bloody couch all day, stuffing my face with Doritos Chilli Heatwaves and shouting at Dr. Phil. Okay I am. Outsmarted by a pillow. Again.
8. Fighting Panda Cushion (€16, Society 6). I know this isn't the most politically correct view to have, but Pandas deserve a good hard slap. What kind of animals won't hump? My family cat has been neutered for about a decade and he still tries to perform indecent acts on himself. I bet pandas don't even fight.
9. Ninja Cushion (€20, Yellow Bug Boutique). Finally, a worthy opponent. Ninja cushion has got the looks, but has he got the guts? I just check and, he does; he comes stuffed with polyester filling. Touché.
10. Fuck U Cushion (€16, Society 6). Now here's a cushion that's just plain asking for a bashing.