Subscription boxes always seem like such a good idea until you end up with six months of molding coffee/wine/mascara in the back of a cupboard. An art delivery service that rocks up once a month to prettify your walls, now that’s more like it. The fact that art isn’t a consumable isn’t the most common reason for it being bought, but then, art is more often not bought, so it’s valid.
Bonsai have never thrilled me. But then, a bonsai has never provoked me to stand up on my chair and scream “Witch!” while batting my computer screen with a fly-swatter. The designer’s behind the Air Bonsai claim that magnets allow it levitate like a damn banshee. Nice try, Japanese designers. Nice try.
You know you want free colouring in pages. So hip, so arty, so damn procrastinnovative (a word I just innovented). Trendy as hell right now, grown-up colouring books are everyone’s new favourite way of not freaking the shit out. According to The New York Times, Buzzfeed and the like, a good hard doodle is the only way to dodge-anxiety for fall 2015. I can attest. My sister bought me a mindfulness colouring book for my birthday (it rocks) which I keep next to my computer; the monitor hasn’t been smacked since.
So, yeah. I made you some. Using Unsplash’s awesome archive of free pics, Snorpey’s image Triangulator and a reserve of Photoshop patience I didn’t know I contained, I created these low-poly pages for your printing and colouring pleasure. Here are the three originals, from the mighty Unsplash;
Be still my beaten, battered and bloodied credit card. Society 6, purveyors of the hottest prints on the interweb (and regular frequenters of my bank statements) have only gone and created a whole new genre of things; floor posters. Except they’re not calling them that, they’re just calling them “rugs”. Which is more descriptive I suppose.
I’ve never been a big fan of rugs, because they’re usually expensive and pretty crap, even when Ikea are misting their buy-everything-serum all over me. But suddenly I’m looking around at my stupid floors thinking how lacklustre they are without witty sayings or thought provoking cartoons. Damn I love Society 6.
And, inkeeping with Society 6‘s usual shenanigans, every artist who sells through the store can offer their fans the option to buy their art as a (machine washable) woven polyester rug. Prices start at around €20 for a 2’ by 3’version. Which I can totally squeeze on to the creddie.
In my day, a plastic scissors and a piece of paper was a month spent off the streets. Sure, it kills me that spoilt little snots have way better toys than I did (the closest I came to a computer before the age of 15 was a plastic cash register that never asked for weird pictures of me), but way really cuts me up is that the internet has made the toys of yore way better.
I had, for example, all the necessary supplies to make all of the super cool crafts below, but I didn’t have the imagination or access to those who did. Sure, I’m probably better off for not having had access to grown ups who make kids’ treats, but now that I’m an adult, I’m the one who’s going to be taking advantage. I made this subject matter way darker than it needed to be. Sorry. Just enjoy these super-wacky-crazy papercraft tutorials and pretend like I’m normal.
Custom made paper people.
This isn’t a freebie but for a measly $5 you can have a ready-to-assemble paper-person of yourself. Aaah, Fiverr. You know what this means, right? make paper-persons out of all those people you have arguements in your head with and live out all the awesome comebacks that never were. Or give one as a gift to someone you love. That would be nice too.
Visit the imaginatively named Dani7770’s Fiverr gig to get yours for €4.
Paper letter animals.
All those days spent learning the alphabet and never once did I think to make a zebra Z. This changes now. Follow the link for a whole alphabet of letters (including a ninja N that I’m thinking of whipping up). Just print off the templates and get folding.
Visit Digit Prop for this and loads more super cool papercraft tutorials.
DIY Paper Taxidermy
The clever folks over at Paper Wolf have come up with a way to save on animals and postage; self-assembly papercraft animal heads. You buy the pre-cut cardboard pieces and put it together yourself, basking in the glow of your cleverness. There are many other paper beasts on sale…including a unicorn.
Visit Paper Wolfs Shop, paper heads come in at around €42.
Paper Skull with articulated jaw.
Paper skull….With. Articulated. Jaw…Need I say more?
Get the free tutorial at Skull A Day.
I possibly did make paper pinwheels but I never made pretty displays out of them like this. My dream is to have a wall of Shady and the Lamp‘s Tweed Pinwheels, until then I might just think about considering maybe making these. Maybe.
Get the tutorial for paper pinwheels from Petit PouLou
Paper geoball bowls
If I had bowls like this all over the apartment, it would be pristine. Basically, it’s these little bowls’ fault that I can never find my keys.
Get your life together with the (Finnish) tutorial from Tuulahdus
Paper craft alphabet wall art
Another example of how terribly unstylish my alphabet-learning days were. If only my stupid teachers had Pinterest.
Get the tutorial for the awesomest alphabet from Weekday Carnival
Working paper camera
Okay, so you need a few other components, but this is a functioning film camera made from paper. Practical? No. But such a cool idea for weddings.
Get the tutorial for the paper camera from Wonder How To’s inspiring Paper Craft section.
Who needs s man who brings fresh flowers every Saturday morning with the papers and a croissant when you can make your…paper flowers? These are all kinds of gorgeous though and when Spring hits and the Winter blues lift, spending an hour making flowers for yourself will feel like a much more positive endeavour.
Get the tutorial from 100 Layer Cake.
Political paper pigs.
These aren’t just cute little paper pigs. No, no, that would be childish. These are political paper pigs. You can dowload the template for free but the politico who created these is hoping for a donation to his cause. I didn’t really pick up on what the cause is, I was too busy looking at the cutesy-wootsy piggies.
Get the tutorial from Toxic Paper Factory.
A Francis Bacon painting sold recently for €50-million. It was not, despite the rumours, one of my latest acquisitions. While art prints are something I’m reasonably willing to splurge on, I’ve moved apartments recently and my bare walls are not nearly as whingey as my bare bank account. As soon as my cash-flow problems are rectified, I’ll find whoever bought that Francis Bacon and outbid the shit out of them. Until then, I’m going to have to do it my bloody self.
Ranging from mind-blowingly easy to very mildly taxing, here’s my pick of some none-too-spendy wall art tutorials even a lazy, lazy blogger like I might manage.
1. Cut out lyric art.
If you’ve got a sharp knife, a piece of paper and waaaaaay more patience than I, this DIY couldn’t be easier. The only real task is figuring what lyrics to use. Personally, I’d go for Three 6 Mafia’s Ass and Titties because it’s my boyfriend and my song. For a less romantic option, anything from Rammstein. Get the tutorial from How About Orange.
2. Nerdy postcard wall art.
Why read books when you can hang them on the wall? Wait, that’s not right. Why hang books when you can read them on your wall. Nope. Whatever, don’t nail things you might need to your wall. Though Penguin books are truly delicious to look at, they are also pretty damn tasty to read, so make like this clever blogger and use postcards mounted on varying sizes of foam to create this lovely wall art. Get the tutorial from How About Orange.
3. Typography art with Hubble imagery.
As Shakespeare once said, “Space, the final frontier”. If you’re too pecious to get your hands dirty and want to force your computer to make your art, then this could be the one for you. Using images from taken by NASA’s Hubble Telescope (oh, the joyous nerdiness) and some Photoshoppery, you can create a pretty awesome piece of art. Get the tutorial from My Cakies.
4. DIY sketched photo wall art.
This is not a Photoshopped photo of a cranky baby, it’s a drawing. By breaking down the drawing steps to tiny degrees, the poster is drawn by hand. Now, I’m not saying this is an easy one but if you’re baby can give bitch face at such a young age, it deserves it’s own hand-drawn portrait. That’s just good parenting. Get the surprisingly do-able tutorial from Poppy Talk.
5. Typography art with Bob Ross imagery.
Okay, so this isn’t a real Bob Ross cruelly defaced by hipster bloggers. No one is that hip. But if you possess one of those slightly cheesy, slightly wonderful landscape drawings and don’t have the heart to dump it, why not upgrade it? A little patience with the sharp knife (ugh, again!) and some diligent placement and you’ve got this rad typography art print. Mine’s going to say something like, “A happy little cloud”. Because Bob Ross is a goddam legend.
The Style It sabbatical has come to an end. Normal sporadic posting will commence….now. I won’t bore you with the details of my recent laziness but I will bore you with a little sentimentality; it’s been a year since my sister and I started this motley blog and while Sarah has since left for greener pastures, her spirit is still here, (I can’t get it out of the carpets.) So, it seems fitting to celebrate the anniversary with an update on Sarah and her new adventures with her shop Shady and the Lamp. The blogger becomes the blogee. Not content with designing and hand-making the lamp shades for uber-celebrity chef Marco Pierre White’s new Dublin eaterie, winning all kinds of hardware and fist-bumps for her exhibition at the Ideal Home Show and generally nailing her first year in business like a goddam legend, now she’s gone and designed some of the loveliest wall art I’ve ever had the pleasure to get a discount on (I’m getting a discount, right?). Three words: Oversized. Tweed. Pinwheels. I know. With the largest one (€57) clocking up 14″ these are sizeable enough to make an impact on their own, although I’m getting at least three to line up and float along a bare wall (I am getting three, right?). Check out Shady and the Lamp’s Etsy store and the Facebook page for the (stunning) bricks and mortar store and tell her Niamh misses her, even though she’s a butt-munch.
A little bit of book love feeds the soul and these clever art prints from Degree are inspired by our ravenous paperback consumption. “We wade through them on beaches, we devour them on picnics, we go forth with them on the road,” or so the blurb goes. Using a vintage suitcase, beach towel and picnic blanket as the settings, these prints evoke classic paperbacks without infringing and that oh so litigious little penguin. The ingenious execution, bang-on tones and lack of text make these the perfect print for book lovers and dodgers alike. Is anyone else hungry? Available from Degree for €35.
Fighting over the quilt, slamming your head on the bedside locker after being sleep-shoved out of bed, landing in dirty socks; ah, the gentle bliss of living with your loved one. All’s fair in love and war until somebody loses their slice of the blanket…then all bets are off. Here are ten bed sets that will help your bedtime feel like less of a battleground…unless you’re into that kind of thing.
1. Yes, No, Maybe pillowcases(€52, Minna’s Room). Make your message loud and clear and get exactly what you want with these hanky panky pillowcases…or just throw them in the air and let destiny decide.
2. Seven Deadly Sins pillowcases (€32, Dustys and Lulu). Option 1 a little too discrete? Then get to the point with Dustys and Lulu’s sinful pillowcases. Other options include Shouty, Fatty, Angry and Slutty so your every mood is covered.
3. Make Love Not War duvet set (Miss Geschick and Lady Lapsus). Sharing is caring so put an end to the your-side-my-side debate with this 50/50 duvet cover. The gun, alas, is not included but highly recommended.
4. Buon Appetito duvet cover (Miss Geschick and Lady Lapsus). Nobody should be kicked out of bed for eating biscuits. Nobody. Luckily the clever folks at Miss Geschick and Lady Lapsus have created this duvet cover/napkin that allows you eat a full Sunday roast between the sheets if you want to, without ruining the bed. About bloody time.
5. Doodle duvet cover (from €55, Doodle and Stitch). Now this is my kind of duvet cover. The notepad print is awesome in it’s own right but throw in the possibility of writing lovey, lusty or don’t-forget-the-milky notes and you have the perfect bed linen for busy couples. Simply pop it into the wash and you have clean slate to write on all over again. Something like ‘seriously, remember to bring home some goddamn milk‘, perhaps?
6. Love Birds pillow cases (€25, Xeno Tees). Let the shenanigans commence with these Love Birds pillowcases. They say the secret to a happy relationship is never going to bed angry and I’m guessing that a few minutes spent chirping at each other in bed would ease the tension. If that doesn’t work, invent your own version of Angry Birds.
7. Happiness In Bed duvet cover (€264, Happiness In Bed). With built-in sleeves to keep your arms warm while you read, this ingenious duvet set has got loved-up bookworms covered. Well, anything that staves off the need for the powerfully contraceptive Slanket is good in my book.
8. My Side Your Side pillowcase (€37, Cushions Covered). Forget compromising, mark your territory early with these pillowcases and put your partner in their place. And yes, you can buy two My Sides if you want…that should help clear up any misunderstandings.
9. Twister Duvet Set (€100, Ebay). Having originally started out as a Mexican ad for Viagra, the Twister duvet set has turned into one of the most sought after bedroom accessories since, well, Viagra. It may take a little hunting (Ebay is your best bet) but a few rounds of naked Twister is probably equal to a decade of couples counselling.
10. Blandito Transformable Pad (from €415, Blandito). Admittedly this isn’t bed linen, but how often have you looked at your lunchtime burrito and wished you could just climb on in? Well, now you can. Kind of. These transformable pads wrap you and your amigo up like little donkeys for some seriously spicy snuggling. Is this what they mean by Food Porn?
If the words ‘You had me at meat tornado’ mean anything to then you are either living near a Big Head Joe’s (luckyyyyy) or you’re well versed in all things Ron Swanson. The clever Canadians at Paper Chat are certainly the latter if their rather beautiful Parks and Recreation typography prints are anything to go by. Paying stylish tribute to some of the most brilliant P&R quotes, Paper Chat are worthy of a Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt handshake. Take that Eagleton.
Check out Paper Chat’s store for more P&R, 30 Rock, The Office and Seinfeld inspired posters (€18.50). Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a hot, spinning cone of meat in that Greek restaurant next door.