Subscription boxes always seem like such a good idea until you end up with six months of molding coffee/wine/mascara in the back of a cupboard. An art delivery service that rocks up once a month to prettify your walls, now that’s more like it. The fact that art isn’t a consumable isn’t the most common reason for it being bought, but then, art is more often not bought, so it’s valid.
get your shiz together
Bonsai have never thrilled me. But then, a bonsai has never provoked me to stand up on my chair and scream “Witch!” while batting my computer screen with a fly-swatter. The designer’s behind the Air Bonsai claim that magnets allow it levitate like a damn banshee. Nice try, Japanese designers. Nice try.
Plants. Glorious, clutter-hiding, soul soothing/crushing plants. My track record of plant-care verges on the genocidal, but I’m slowly learning how not to kill so many. Or, at least, how to kill them very, very slowly.
Though notoriously shitty conversationalists, I love surrounding myself with houseplants, squeezing them into every nook and cranny of my apartment and office desk. Yeah, they’re good for the air and the heart and such. But I’m a misogynist when it comes to indoor horticulture; I value them almost entirely for their looks. I’ll share some pics of my own plants soon, once I teach them how to shut their whiny mouths and look pretty for the cameras. Until then, allow me to share with your some plants that’ve got it going on the looks department. Run, run I tell you, to the nearest plant shop. Cos they’re not going to kill themselves.
Be still my beaten, battered and bloodied credit card. Society 6, purveyors of the hottest prints on the interweb (and regular frequenters of my bank statements) have only gone and created a whole new genre of things; floor posters. Except they’re not calling them that, they’re just calling them “rugs”. Which is more descriptive I suppose.
I’ve never been a big fan of rugs, because they’re usually expensive and pretty crap, even when Ikea are misting their buy-everything-serum all over me. But suddenly I’m looking around at my stupid floors thinking how lacklustre they are without witty sayings or thought provoking cartoons. Damn I love Society 6.
And, inkeeping with Society 6‘s usual shenanigans, every artist who sells through the store can offer their fans the option to buy their art as a (machine washable) woven polyester rug. Prices start at around €20 for a 2’ by 3’version. Which I can totally squeeze on to the creddie.
Kickstarter, one of my favourite places to waste time these days, can throw up many a surprising, terrifying and face-slappingly worrying idea from would-be entrepreneurs. Often though, you’ll find a little invention that is close enough to what already exists to make you wonder if some mad scientist hasn’t already light-bulbed it and clever enough to be demand support and encouragement because it turns out, smarty pants, that it’s the first of its kind. Window Pods are one of those inventions. Interior designers are going nuts for all things indoor gardening of late but add some super-hip vertical gardening to the mix and you’ve got an Elle Decor wet-dream.
Create by California-based green finger Ben Shope, the Window Pods are a clever solution for those of you who don’t have the space or light for plant pots. Using a suction pad, the pods stick to the window (let there be light) without taking up any valuable real-estate on your window sill. Having already raised his financial goal, there’s still a month left to back Ben and get on his good side before he turns into the Bill Gates of shrubbery. So far, no word on shipping outside of the U.S. but with the pods coming in at $39 for three (including herbs seeds), you can probably offer some kind of bribe.Visit www.windowpods.org for more.
Fighting over the quilt, slamming your head on the bedside locker after being sleep-shoved out of bed, landing in dirty socks; ah, the gentle bliss of living with your loved one. All’s fair in love and war until somebody loses their slice of the blanket…then all bets are off. Here are ten bed sets that will help your bedtime feel like less of a battleground…unless you’re into that kind of thing.
1. Yes, No, Maybe pillowcases(€52, Minna’s Room). Make your message loud and clear and get exactly what you want with these hanky panky pillowcases…or just throw them in the air and let destiny decide.
2. Seven Deadly Sins pillowcases (€32, Dustys and Lulu). Option 1 a little too discrete? Then get to the point with Dustys and Lulu’s sinful pillowcases. Other options include Shouty, Fatty, Angry and Slutty so your every mood is covered.
3. Make Love Not War duvet set (Miss Geschick and Lady Lapsus). Sharing is caring so put an end to the your-side-my-side debate with this 50/50 duvet cover. The gun, alas, is not included but highly recommended.
4. Buon Appetito duvet cover (Miss Geschick and Lady Lapsus). Nobody should be kicked out of bed for eating biscuits. Nobody. Luckily the clever folks at Miss Geschick and Lady Lapsus have created this duvet cover/napkin that allows you eat a full Sunday roast between the sheets if you want to, without ruining the bed. About bloody time.
5. Doodle duvet cover (from €55, Doodle and Stitch). Now this is my kind of duvet cover. The notepad print is awesome in it’s own right but throw in the possibility of writing lovey, lusty or don’t-forget-the-milky notes and you have the perfect bed linen for busy couples. Simply pop it into the wash and you have clean slate to write on all over again. Something like ‘seriously, remember to bring home some goddamn milk‘, perhaps?
6. Love Birds pillow cases (€25, Xeno Tees). Let the shenanigans commence with these Love Birds pillowcases. They say the secret to a happy relationship is never going to bed angry and I’m guessing that a few minutes spent chirping at each other in bed would ease the tension. If that doesn’t work, invent your own version of Angry Birds.
7. Happiness In Bed duvet cover (€264, Happiness In Bed). With built-in sleeves to keep your arms warm while you read, this ingenious duvet set has got loved-up bookworms covered. Well, anything that staves off the need for the powerfully contraceptive Slanket is good in my book.
8. My Side Your Side pillowcase (€37, Cushions Covered). Forget compromising, mark your territory early with these pillowcases and put your partner in their place. And yes, you can buy two My Sides if you want…that should help clear up any misunderstandings.
9. Twister Duvet Set (€100, Ebay). Having originally started out as a Mexican ad for Viagra, the Twister duvet set has turned into one of the most sought after bedroom accessories since, well, Viagra. It may take a little hunting (Ebay is your best bet) but a few rounds of naked Twister is probably equal to a decade of couples counselling.
10. Blandito Transformable Pad (from €415, Blandito). Admittedly this isn’t bed linen, but how often have you looked at your lunchtime burrito and wished you could just climb on in? Well, now you can. Kind of. These transformable pads wrap you and your amigo up like little donkeys for some seriously spicy snuggling. Is this what they mean by Food Porn?